sadie_hex (sadie_hex) wrote,

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Dances on the Corpses Ashes...

I just woke up from a 2 hour nap. Its 9pm. This is not good. Not good at all. I'm talking to Iron Belly on IM and trying to decide what I want to do. I have no motivation today. Anything that was here yesterday is now gone.

So Jackie might be our drummer. Or she might not. Its raining like a mutha outside all day, freezing rain, so I'm just burrowed down in, waiting for the first signs of the apocalypse. I believe it will have something to do with Frair Fiance keeping his work clothes on more than 10 minutes from when we get home.

So today Ze Moto made it her personal vendetta to add injury to previously established injury. I was attached like a shark rising furiously from the water as she latched onto my arm when I was sitting in this very spot. Then later I was getting all tucked in for watching ROUNDERS, and the little fucker bites the top of my head!!!! I tried to hit her but she ran away. My Luvah chased her upstairs but she was satisfied with the head chomping. As of late I've focused so much bloody attention on her, its weird. She has started sleeping in my lap again while I watch TV, and I love makes me feel so wanted. Its so silly b/c she's just this little kitty that can't talk or anything, but she knows when I need her to stop acting like a fuckface and just chill.

CUBED is taking over some reviewing duties this week b/c he rules my school. I am also reviewing SAW and DONNIE DARKO so I'll have 4 and he'll have 2, that makes 6 DVD reviews so SUPREME HIGH LORD AND COMMANDER better have nothing to say except "ARE YOU READY TO ROCK BK BROILER????" I have pretty much got him to agree to name our first child (IF a boy, and IF it happens at all) DANE JOSEPH, which is awesome b/c DANE is such a cool name. And so what if its after one my fave comedians right now. Its either that or the middle name is going to be NOON. B/c that is why people have kids. So they can give them names they think are awesome that everyone else will give you the "WHA-HUH?" face for. NATHAN NOON would be ideal. I want my child to have a super villain name:
Toshio Akuma
Nicholas Rasp

Neither can I. But at least I took a nap and won't be tired for another 4 hours or so. That will just thrill me. I want a drink. As soon as I think about covering any span of time I think about drinking or smoking. I devise schedules and procedures and rituals over these activities. Its just this other form of medication. I don't need one thing--I need anything, just not feeling reality right now. Reality is boring. And it hurts alot of the time. I have unnatural fear of the death of the people around me. I am scared of being alone. I fill my life with things and personalizations just so I don't have to fucking listen to myself. If I am worried about the tinkerbell purse and the skull cap and the buttons and the arm warmers and the slytherin socks and zip up jacket and scarves then inevitable I would be worried about myself...and that's not where I want to be.

I'm rambling and I really should just shut up now.
~sadie hexicidal
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